I’m a cat lady, so it was rather unnatural for me to have a nightmare about this blue haired, half-feline, half-woman. In my nightmare she was dancing topless, with her tail dangling behind her. She was hissing and I was tied to a tree, where I stood motionless. I woke up and the nightmare blurred with the night. This image is a summary of who/what she was in my sleep. I never got her name, so I called the series ‘Animal In Me’.
I was moved to photograph a series depicting domestic violence – this series was inspired by my childhood, watching how my mother suffered for years, and my growing up in the absence of my father who disowned me and my siblings. I wrote a short story to accompany the series. For many, it was a sadistic prose. What they didn’t know is that the story is a combination of my mother’s and my experience.
“Her passivity is a system of millions of feigned brilliance, together with filth and grime, held together by a theatric magnetism. Her thoughts, a large open area, altered, into an arena. A playing field of sorts. The undernourished slope on her back, garlanded with muted black and blue. Wind whistles in hear ears; she takes a deep, delicious breath and slowly she falls, into the great oblivion. The absence of her logic is frightfully uncommon in the human system. But those who have been exposed to such carnage are bound to become desensitized to sadism. She is warm, and the honey in her eyes spark, drowning out all the other sounds out there. She appreciates public confusion with blatant disregard, and seeks refuge in the coating of her grief and distress. She’s become thoroughly saturated with anguish, and she waits, for him to douse the fire raging inside her – she swims in pure apprehension, composing plausible, persuasive arguments with herself, to justify his callousness.
It’s frightening how one can scream in infinite silence.”
Also inspired by a dream I had many months ago – about a red haired lass who finds solace in the crashing of the waves.
My most recent series, ‘Elementalism’ is inspired by a nightmare I had about a month ago. In the nightmare I saw myself as a free spirited, cautious gypsy stranded in a desert storm. I was attacked by something I couldn’t see and I had this supernatural power to create and manipulate fire. Not long after, I woke up. When I fell back asleep the nightmare somehow continued, in a forest. Everything was calm and beautiful but I felt apprehensive about letting my guard down. I tried to bring to life the latter part of the nightmare because it seems more relatable to Natalie (my model) and I think she embodied the character well with her facial expression and body language.
My very first Thaipusam celebration! This was an impulsive decision – I couldn’t afford to fly to the Batu Caves and I decided not to go. But a couple of days later, I subconsciously logged on to an airline website and blew off what little savings I had and flew off two days later. It was worth it!